Anxiety Therapy
Anywhere in New York and California
For high-functioning women tired of overthinking everything.
Are you tired of letting anxiety dictate your life?
You seem fine on the outside.
You show up for work.
You take care of your family.
You're there for your friends.
You're doing everything "right." You're being the "good girl" you were brought up to be. But...anxiety is always there. It's driving every decision and interaction. You never feel at peace. Ughhh
Decisions seem impossible.
You worry about getting it perfect.
You go over all the "what ifs."
You doubt the decisions you do make.
Taking a risk, stepping outside your comfort zone, living authentically…it’s all too risky. You think, “What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if people judge me, or worse, reject me?”
Fear of rejection impacts every relationship.
You say yes to far too much.
You avoid conflict like the plague.
You beat yourself up over any critique.
You replay every interaction, wondering “What did I do wrong? What do they think of me?” You need reassurance, and when you don’t get it, you panic.
Anxiety lives in the body.
You feel tense, restless, and on edge.
Your heart is beating out of your chest.
Your breath gets quick and shallow.
You’re exhausted and desperately want to relax, but you can't. You lay awake in bed, praying for sleep, but the worries keeping going & going...like the energizer bunny. You're wired, but tired.
Even in the joy, your anxiety is there.
You wonder when the other shoe will drop.
If this sounds like you, don’t worry (I know, big ask), I’ve got you.
Why anxiety shows up, even when you're doing everything "right"
Even when you talk yourself down, try to relax, or do what you're supposed to, you still might be struggling with anxiety. That doesn't mean you're failing.
Women today face so much societal and familial pressures to be "good girls." To do it all with a smile on their face. That pressure is real and palpable. Your nervous system has been wired to respond to these pressures in order to survive.
Your nervous system learned:
To be the "easy one."
To stay alert and avoid trouble.
To be responsible and obedient.
To push down emotions and stay quiet.
To get praise and attention by being successful and perfect.
To get love and affection by always giving to others and being needed.
Anxiety isn't the enemy. It's a signal that your nervous system doesn't feel safe. Your nervous system can be updated so it stops sending false alarms.
Imagine your life rewired
You actually enjoy that party instead of getting preoccupied with what other people are thinking about you.
You’re confident trying a new hobby or career path because the fear of failure isn’t screaming at you anymore.
You say no and take time for you without feeling guilty.
You know you’ve done your best, and that’s good enough.
If worry thoughts pop up, you quiet them. You listen to your intuition.
You feel clarity and peace for the first time. You have room to breathe.
You’re able to relax. You wake up refreshed after sleeping peacefully.
You're present and relish in the joyful moments.
Your finding true connection in your relationships without abandoning yourself.
You're finally living freely as YOU.
Survival by people-pleasing
Our hunter-gatherer ancestors faced survival threats from predators on a regular basis. Being part of a group was necessary for survival. They did what they had to do to stay in their group.
We inherited this wiring, but the world looks vastly different. We are part of so many groups and our networks spread the globe. The nervous system can't differentiate what group is needed for survival.
So, you try to please everyone.
The good news? You can be re-wired to identify your tribe...the ones that will accept you for you.
Anxiety therapy that is more than symptom management
The survival wiring for people-pleasing can lead to anxiety and a body that is constantly on alert. Some women's anxious patterns get reinforced by "good girl" conditioning whereby you took on too much responsibility, became self-sufficient, and learned to put emotions aside. Your nervous system learned to protect you, so you would be accepted by your family, peers, or society at large. Further, "Big T" trauma may have taught you to be prepared for the worst...because the worst actually happened.
It’s time to let your mind and body know you are safe.
It's time to discern who your people are.
My approach goes beyond just managing your anxiety. Of course, you'll get a toolkit of coping strategies for immediate relief. But, together, we will gently explore the root of your anxiety. Combining evidence-based, trauma-informed, and holistic approaches, we will heal the trauma and "good girl" conditioning that led to your anxious patterns. We will rewire your mind and body for calm, clarity, connection, and confidence.
You will finally feel a clear sense of who you really are.
What to expect
1
Identify your treatment goals and situations make you anxious. Take a thorough assessment of your background to determine the origins of your anxious patterns.
2
Build your anxiety management toolkit with relaxation exercises, cognitive reframing and defusion tools, distress tolerance skills, acceptance strategies, and more.
3
Heal the root of your anxiety with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Breathwork, and/or other evidence-based, trauma-informed modalities.
4
Build your confidence and intuitive connection through exposure experiments, mindful self-compassion, parts work, values identification, and/or yoga.
Anxiety therapy approaches
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: This approach recognizes that your thoughts and behaviors impact how you feel. You will learn cognitive reframing strategies that challenge your anxious patterns and rewire your thinking to be more helpful, balanced, and realistic. You will also change your behaviors to calm your anxiety. Behavioral approaches have three main categories:
1. Distress Tolerance: You will learn quick, effective strategies for tolerating and regulating anxiety in the moment. For example, learning to STOP before acting, releasing anxious energy through intense physical activity, and tricking your body into a calm diving state by dunking your head in cold water.
2. Nervous System Regulation: You will learn about the nervous system and strategies to relax the body, including breathing exercises, visualizations, tension release, and more. In some cases, you may be connected to a heart monitor for biofeedback in real time as you relax the body. These approaches are meant to be practiced regularly, so you build relaxation into your day and you're better able to relax the body in anxious moments.
3. Exposure Experiments: You will perform mini experiments, exposing you to the situations and stimuli that trigger your anxiety. These experiments will be performed in a safe and systematic way that do not overwhelm you. Through these exposure experiments, you will gradually learn to implement your coping tools, build your confidence, and/or release your anxiety altogether.
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: With this approach, you do not have you change or suppress your anxious thoughts. Rather, you will learn to defuse or de-identify from them. Becoming the observer of your thoughts and feelings, you are able to watch the stream of worries come and go without acting on them. You learn to relate to your anxiety differently. You can be kind and compassionate towards it because it's just trying to protect you. With this attitude, you learn to sit with and accept your anxiety causing it to lose its power over you.
Internal Family Systems (parts work): Your anxiety may just be a part of you that has been burdened with the job of protecting you. This part likely formed as a child to help keep you safe, but it's wreaking havoc on your life now. You will learn to lead with the true Self. The one that is compassionate, connected, calm, and curious. Your true Self will then work with your anxious protector part, so that it learns to trust your leadership and step aside.
If your anxiety is rooted in trauma and "good girl" conditioning, we may integrate EMDR or other trauma-informed approaches into your treatment plan.
Common Questions About Anxiety Therapy
How do I know if what I'm feeling is anxiety?
Many people experience occasional worry or stress. Some anxiety can actually be helpful, such as motivating you to prepare for a test or big presentation at work. However, disordered anxiety tends to be persistent and disproportionate to the situation. It might be so overwhelming, it interferes with your daily life and motivation. You might notice racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, restlessness, difficulty relaxing, irritability, or a constant sense of unease.
If you're unsure, therapy can help you understand what you're experiencing and what might help.
What if my anxiety isn't "that bad"?
You don't need to be in a crisis or having anxiety attacks to benefit from therapy. Even if you're managing anxiety ok, it can still impact your work, relationships, body, and overall well-being. Therapy can help you build tools to manage anxiety more effectively, deepen self-awareness, and prevent anxiety from growing over time. Furthermore, you are better prepared for healing the root of your anxiety when you're managing it ok and not in crisis.
What can I expect in therapy for anxiety?
We'll start by exploring what your anxiety looks and feels like and what situations trigger it. We will also identify the underlying causes and conditioning of your anxiety. From there, we will develop a toolkit to help you better manage your anxiety and feel immediate relief. Tools might include distress tolerance, relaxation, emotion regulation, and cognitive reframing strategies. If trauma and/or "good girl" conditioning are underlying your anxiety, we may use EMDR or other trauma-informed approaches to heal your anxiety. You will be rewired for calm, clarity, and confidence. You'll learn to discern your intuition from anxiety, and trust it, so you are more in control of your life.
What is a holistic approach to therapy treatment?
While traditional talk therapy is a powerful tool for gaining insight into your anxious patterns, a holistic approach helps you to heal the mind, body, and spirit, so anxiety is no longer ruling your life. You'll learn techniques to relax the body, reframe the mind, and heal the root of your anxiety. With the anxious gunk out of your system, your spirit comes to the forefront. You are more connected to your intuition and learn to trust it. You can move forward with clarity, control, and confidence. Talk to your healthcare provider to discuss what holistic approaches might benefit you.
Can therapy help with physical symptoms, such as upset stomach, headaches, and pain?
Absolutely! Anxiety shows up in the mind, but also the body, in the form of tension, rapid heart rate, shallow breathing, and more. With a nervous system that is constantly activated for fight-or-flight, the body experiences wear-and-tear over time, possibly leading to more severe symptoms of nausea and upset stomach, chronic headaches, and physical pain.
In therapy, we explore how the mind and body are connected, and provide you with tools for managing the physical symptoms, such as relaxation, grounding, and other nervous system regulation strategies. We will then work to uncover and heal the root of your anxiety to help reduce the physical effects over time.
Does virtual therapy for anxiety work just as well as in-person therapy?
Research has proven that virtual therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy for treating anxiety. Imagine tackling your worries from the comfort of your couch. Virtual therapy allows for more flexible scheduling, so you can even squeeze a session in during your lunch break. No more traffic, just focused progress on managing and healing your anxiety.
How long does it take to start to feel better?
There is no one-size-fits-all to healing. The length of anxiety therapy depends on several factors, including the severity and origins of your anxiety, your individual goals and needs, and the therapeutic approach. Some clients may experience relief after just a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term therapy. We'll regularly check-in with your progress and make adjustments as needed to meet your treatment goals.
You can get off the hamster wheel of worry thoughts
Having a safe and compassionate space to manage, explore, and heal your anxiety can make all the difference.
Schedule a free 15-min phone consultation to see if we are a good fit.
Services
Other
New York, New York
© 2026 Emily Jenchura, PhD Psychologist APC